Relativity and Marriage

This is an Emergency Post! I've already posted today, but I just had a conversation with The Superhero that MUST be recorded.

The Superhero is rearranging the living room furniture...

The Superhero: "Do you think the couch will fit between the cabinet and the wall?"
Me: "No way, it's too long."
The Superhero: "Sure it will..." pushes the couch into the spot with room to spare "Ha, there!"
Me: "Well surely that's because it's moving close to the speed of light and it's length is contracted."
The Superhero: "Well if the couch is moving, then we are also moving [since we don't observe it moving] so there would be no length contraction!"

Ha! So, Future Self, as you get older and your body gives out and your mind starts to fade, and you wonder whether it was all worthwhile whether your life was well-spent, remember this: You once had it all. You had a hot 27-year old wife who cooks you pizza, is dirty in bed, and sasses you with Einstein.

You can die a happy man.